AND THEN… LIFE HAPPENED
Life moves fast. It feels like just yesterday my daughter was born—today she is a wonderful mother. Not long ago, I was starting school for the first time—today, I’m a grandparent.
Life is precious and a privilege to live fully, yet it is also fragile and unpredictable. I have experienced the ebb and flow of life. I know what it means to lose everything and start again. I know abundance—and I know hunger. I’ve known the warmth of support and the loneliness of standing alone. I understand the joy of employment and the despair of unemployment. I’ve celebrated life—and I’ve stood at the edge, wanting to give up altogether.
Between 2006 and 2012, life happened. I went through a divorce, lost both my parents, was abandoned by people close to me, unemployed for three years, financially ruined, and deeply disappointed in both God and humanity. Fear, anger, shame, blame, isolation, and hopelessness became my daily companions. I felt worthless—and I gave up hope.
THE BEST DECISION YOU CAN MAKE
But here is the good news: the same life that knocks us down also offers second chances.
The best decision I made was to stop feeling sorry for myself. Remaining a victim of circumstances never brings growth, solutions, or healing. Yes, there must be time to grieve and process what has happened—but there must also come a moment when you say: “It happened. It is what it is. I will get up and grow through it.”
That decision changed my life—and it can change yours too. Ask yourself:
- How does it serve me to remain a victim?
- How does unforgiveness serve me?
- How does holding onto the past help me move forward?
At some point, we must choose to stand up, deal with what happened, grow through it, and begin celebrating life again.
THE POWER OF RESILIENCE
People respond differently to trauma, but over time most adapt. Why? Because of resilience.
Resilience is the ability to adapt in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, and significant stress. It’s not just bouncing back—it’s bouncing forward. Research shows resilience is ordinary; it’s part of being human. Think of what happens when your head is pushed under water—your instinct to survive kicks in. That same instinct exists within you. Resilience is part of your DNA.
Being resilient does not mean you won’t feel pain. The road often includes deep emotional distress. But resilience reminds us that we are not meant to stay down. There is always hope—yet choosing resilience requires action.
A DEFINING MOMENT
In October 2012, after six years of bottled-up pain, everything broke loose. I cried, shouted, blamed, and swore for an entire weekend. It felt like a dam wall collapsing. Then, on Sunday evening at 19:45, lying on my patio with tears flowing freely and God’s presence overwhelming me, I made a decision:
- I will get up. I will learn from this.
- I will move on.
- I will pay it forward. And I will celebrate life again.
You can make that decision too.
WAYS TO BUILD RESILIENCE
Here are a few principles that helped me move forward:
- Accept the situation: It is what it is.
- Believe this season will pass: History is full of people who were knocked down and rose again.
- Commit to growth: Say it—and believe it—I will bounce forward.
- Acknowledge your emotions: Feel them, process them, and ask for help when needed.
- Guard your thoughts: I am what I think. Thoughts can either limit or empower you.
- Draw from faith and inner strength: You were not designed to do this alone.
THE OUTCOME
My life is a testimony of second chances. The journey wasn’t easy, but I chose to forgive, to ask for forgiveness, to let go of the past, to rediscover purpose, and to live fully again. Today, my faith has been restored. I have meaningful work, my debt has been settled, and I’ve uncovered my purpose—helping rebuild broken lives and communities that need second chances. And most beautifully, God blessed me with the most wonderful woman in my life—a living reminder of grace and second chances. We are engaged to be married.
Life is a gift. Believe it. Choose wisely. Live it fully.